I Am On The Borderline

I found this poem when searching around on the internet, a great resource for BPD is https://mybpdstory.wordpress.com/ – I’m not sure who the poem was wrote by put it was taken from the “poems” page of that website. It’s something I found very true, close to myself and inspiring and I thought I would share it here:

“I am on the borderline, it’s a lonely place to be,
So much pain and confusion – I wish it wasn’t happening to me.
People say they don’t get me – why are they so cruel?
The pills and razors help me, but you don’t understand at all.

The doctors tell me my problem, i’m diagnosed with BPD,
I need to be treated with caution, but you can’t label me
I’m dosed up to the eyeballs, sedatives by the plenty
I exist but I’m not living – that’s what the pills do to me.

I find it difficult to communicate, to put my point across
It’s hard to understand situations, sometimes I feel at a loss.
I struggle to see a future, although there should be one that’s bright
I need someone to support me and to guide me towards the light.

Sometimes I can be impulsive, make bad decisions on the spot
Spending, speeding or drinking, BPD causes an awful lot.
I’ve lost friends and loved ones a’plenty because of my personality flaw
But now I understand the causes – I won’t let it happen any more.

I’ve spent many nights after admission sat in the CDU,
Wondering how it came to this and what i’m doing to you,
I know how much it hurts you when you sit and watch my cry
Yes I am a borderline, but I don’t really want to die.”

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